It is true that not everyone gets to be in a relationship...sad, sad...but true! Nonetheless, thats how it works in the real world (again, movies are evil liars). Therefore, the single people have to venture out into the night and attempt to make small talk, and batty eye lash moves, and other important flirtations in order to try and undo their single status. It is not a simple task and even with careful planning and calculation the most skilled single lady can find herself in a perpetual state of singleness. On one particular evening the failure of a certain single lady's endeavors were repetitively addressed by the onslaught of rednecks that made their presence known to her.
Now I know what you are thinking....where did the rednecks come from and what did they do??? I shall tell you in this totally true and only slightly exaggerated story about two pretty 20 somethings:
Once upon a time, two loud and bubbly single girls decided to put down the books and have a lovely meal downtown. They located a tasty sushi restaurant they had not tried and even made friends with the sushi chef. Banner night...one would think. UNTIL, the waiter notified them that some gentlemen from table such and such had purchased them a reallllllly gross beverage. The girls politely smiled at the gentlemen and took a sip of the disgusting warm liquid. THEN, the oldest and least attractive of the gentlemen came over to talk to the girls....WHY???? Because the universe has a sense of humor. You see the ladies had just been discussing their singleness and how perhaps they should meet a chef who could make them sushi at home. This older gentlemen just happened to be a chef from some unknown restaurant in Venice Beach, California. The ladies let him yammer until he put his foot in his mouth. This guy was no ordinary chef....he was in town for none other then the NASCAR races!
SUSHI=GOOD :)
NASCAR=BAD :(
After leaving those stellar gentlemen behind the ladies headed to a new location to say hello to a friend who was in the neighborhood. BUT remember what I said about friends with good intentions....bad news bears! You see this friend immediately tells one of the ladies about how she met a nice gentlemen on a plane who would be perfect for her. Then she adds that he is in school to become a pediatric dentist and he is cute! yay! sounds promising...until this next sentence pops out of her mouth "Yea, he is a total rope and ride cowboy. He is into horses and all that stuff". Again this single lady wondered what type of sign was hanging around her neck "prairie life's for me!" ?!? ummm....thanks but no thanks.
Not so long after that the ladies began to make idle chit chat with the other gentlemen at the establishment they were visiting. It took all of about 4 exchanges before it was discovered that these ladies had stumbled into conversation with a NASCAR pit crew! Seriously, what were the odds! A whole pit crew of greasy southerners (no really, greasy, they had just left the track). Needless to say, the conversation did not last long.
What could these lovely ladies do but laugh at their misfortunes....know really suggestions are appreciated (kinda). So they topped off their evening with a group of lovely ladies (who aren't ladies) and called it an early night. They did not need to see the wee hours of the night to know it was less than successful. However, they had so much fun they almost felt the need to thank their redneck admirers for the strange and entertaining turn of events.
Welcome To Dating In Your Twenties.
XOXO
Awesome. I'm so sad I missed this one.
ReplyDeletehaha, it's obvious that you have been studying too hard when your first sentence has a reference to the declaration of independence. LOL.
ReplyDeleteHAHA lacey too funny didnt even realize that.
ReplyDelete