You Can Call Me Squeegee Beckenheim

I think I should start by saying that I have what some may consider to be an unnatural LOVE for Gilmore Girls. I think love of this proportion is totally legit and everyone should feel the never ending joy which is Gilmore banter. Needless to say, if I could, I would grow up to be Lorelai Gilmore and move to Stars Hollow and marry Luke Danes (like she should have) and continue to pester Taylor Dosey simply for the sport of it.

However, I am not Lorelai Gilmore and I do not live in Stars Hollow, so I have settled for the next best thing....I will master the Gilmore banter. I already talk at approximately 17112 words per minute and I have absorbed a great deal of potentially useless socially obligatory knowledge. I think its obvious that I am splendidly quick witted and have no problem telling it like I see it. I think Gilmore style repartee is destined to be mine at some point....it just has to be!....or my evil plan to become the most talkative person on the planet will fall by the waste side! (this would be a No No).

How does one develop a desire to be Gilmored? Well, its a lengthy application process that I began when I was in elementary school. When I was just a wee little 6th grader I flipped on the entertainment box of magical stupendousness and BAM there they were...the Gilmore Girls in all there glory. While I didn't catch 90% of the fabulously crafted references I was captivated by the small town charm and endless chatter that is the Gilmore way. So I guess it is safe to assume I was a fan from the start and years of faithful thurday night viewing ensued.

Flash forward to my early 20 somethings and a fateful trip to Costco. There I was getting my economy sized shopping on and sampling some sort of fajitas dish when I beheld the sale of all sales; a sale to put all other sales to shame. Seven glorious season of witty banter and small town charm on SALE. As a beyond broke college student the Costco trip alone was a carefully calculated expense but how could I  resist? It would be like saying no to 7 neatly wrapped boxes of my youth and humor....it was simply not an option. 

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On that fateful day I not only completed the collection that I now refer to as the Holy Grail but I also simultaneously opened Pandora's box. How could purchasing the Holy Grail lead to Pandora's Box? Well, roommate had never watch much Gilmore in her day....a travesty in which I had to correct before the world threw itself off kilter from sadness and dismay. So slowly but surely we began watching our way through all 7 seasons. We even paused every so often to Google the shitnitz out of all the amazing references and so that I could bone up on the social commentary which I hoped to some day to call my own.

Eventually, the last episode flashed across the screen and the months worth of Gilmore Marathons had come to close. A bittersweet moment it was, but thanks to that fateful trip to Costco (where p.s. they still don't know how to pack a freaking box!) I have every drop of Gilmore that the world has to offer. Now I pop a disc in from time to time and submerge myself in a Stars Hollow town meeting or a Cup of coffee at Luke's and all is right with the world.

So I shall now leave you with a few of my favorite Gilmore Quotes:

Rory: We're fondue Purists, Grandma.

Lorelai: Yea we dip old school.

Rory: Do something to make me hate you!

Lorelai: Um, go Hitler?

Logan: Rory, you're special.

Rory: Like "stop-eating-the-paste" special?

Sookie: Swear. Raise your right hand and say, 'May Destiny's Child break up if I count these blueberries.'

Michel: ....Pick another group.

Lorelai: Mom, its just a pretend wedding. J-Lo has them all them time.

Lorelai: Give me a burger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. I need some heroes.

Lorelai: okay, I think we just found the first room in the history of the world that would've made Liberace say 'Whoa, step back. No one's that gay.'

Lorelai: oy with the poodles already....I'm telling you, it's knocking "whatchu talkin bout Willis" right out of first place.

Lorelai: Okay, so, don't wait up and remember only 2 or 3 crack heads at the most, they eat all the good cereal.

Rory: Squeegee Beckenheim?

Lorelai: I once told a store my name was Squeegee Beckenheim just to see how many magazines I would get.

....The list could go on and on and on, but i'll spare you!

XOXO